Episode I: Let the Begging Commence

siren3-4 · Post by **siren3-4** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 1:04 pm

We desperately need your help !! Have you seen this penguin ?

There is a reward of $50.00 for anyone who can reunite him with his friends and loved ones, Rai Penguin and Shadow Penguin.

“Please help us find our friend and bring him back to us safely” “ We have enlisted the help of our friend and mentor SCSolar”

“That’s right kids. Anything that you can do to help my little friends would be greatly appreciated. We have the best in the world out searching for Solar Penguin, and they need your help !!”

“I’m doing what I can to help these penguins in their time of Infinite Identity Crisis of the Multiple Penguins. . . but I’m only one man . . . er . . . bat . . .er uh. . . I mean penguin and even I need help sometimes. Right Cap !!”

“That’s right Batty, In these hard times of War it’s easy to forget to be Civil and instead of trying to Annihilate everything in sight out of frustration we need to band together and help reunite these Valiant Penguins !!”

“With all this interest in Solar Penguin, maybe I should Kidnap . . .no . . .Birdnap . . .no . . .pengynap the little bugger. Ha hahaha haha haha haha . . . . ha . . . . . he he . . “

“Don’t worry kids. I’ll shoot that bad man in the face before he gets a chance to hurt Solar penguin. And just in case I can’t be there I’m sending in some help . . . .

Say hello to my little friend !!!

“I wish I could hold a gun. Do you see anything DK ?”

“I do, I think I see something over there on that rock.”

“ . . .fishy . . fishy . . .fish . . .huh ? . . .”

“Again, please contact us with any leads you may have. We are looking everywhere on land and under the water !! There is a hole in the hearts of his penguin friends that only being reunited can cure. Look at their sad faces . . .”

“I have constructed a special energy button labeled PM for “Penguin Movement” you can click on that button and Mike will be standing by to answer any questions and take down any leads you may have in recovering our friend.”

“Thank you for your time and please know that your effort is not in vein, Solar Penguin will find his way home. It is his Destiny.”

Elveen · Post by **Elveen** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 1:22 pm

one of my favorite posts ever!

but I don't have a pengui.....

Chiclo · Post by **Chiclo** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 2:14 pm

It was a great post.

But I am made sad that Grifter did not show up until the last photo.

steverino · Post by **steverino** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 5:42 pm

Morgan Freeman has him. He's making the poor thing 'march' across the freezing ice right now.

Elveen · Post by **Elveen** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 6:02 pm

steverino wrote:Morgan Freeman has him. He's making the poor thing 'march' across the freezing ice right now.

witty!

Daniel Jackson · Post by **Daniel Jackson** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 7:00 am

I didn't realize those statues were so chatty, mine hardly ever say anything....

cobra_commander · Post by **cobra_commander** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 7:55 am

I WANT A RAI PENGUIN!

ibreakhorses · Post by **ibreakhorses** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 9:46 am

VHMMV · Post by **VHMMV** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 9:43 pm

I think it's cool that the penguin is made out of milk, D3, and contains 3.25% milkfat. I wonder how Sean did that?

I think the "Keep refrigerated" label is a bit much, though. I mean, duh! It's a penguin!

I also note that the penguin is "Grade A," "Pasteurized," and "Homogenized." Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Flinx · Post by **Flinx** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 5:49 am

steverino wrote:Morgan Freeman has him. He's making the poor thing 'march' across the freezing ice right now.

I thought he was off taking tap-dancing lessons.

steverino · Post by **steverino** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 2:12 pm

VHMMV wrote:I think it's cool that the penguin is made out of milk, D3, and contains 3.25% milkfat. I wonder how Sean did that?

Especially considering the carton has wax all over it and is resistant to ink and paint.

Really makes you wonder.

Sean Chen · Post by **Sean Chen** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 9:07 pm

This thread is just too funny! Come on, someone pony up the penguin already.

Daniel Jackson · Post by **Daniel Jackson** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 9:58 pm

Sean Chen wrote:This thread is just too funny! Come on, someone pony up the penguin already.

Mine told me he loves living at my house and never wants to leave.

David_Cody · Post by **David_Cody** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 7:17 am

Mine is whispering up on my closet shelf, "Leave, I just warmed got here and my feet are nice 'n warm, too."

slym2none · Post by **slym2none** » Sat Jan 06, 2007 5:32 pm

Didn't I hear a whisper somewhere about a possible "second series" of Solar Penguin???

-slym (STILL can't believe he skipped out on Solar Penguin)

Sean Chen · Post by **Sean Chen** » Sat Jan 06, 2007 8:59 pm

A little while back I checked the mold for the Solar Penguin, and determined that it has deteriorated in storage. It has since been destroyed and recycled into other silicone molds. So, sorry to say, that there will not be a second series.

-Sean

Daniel Jackson · Post by **Daniel Jackson** » Sat Jan 06, 2007 9:33 pm

Sorry to hear that, I know quite a few members will be dissapointed.

slym2none · Post by **slym2none** » Sat Jan 06, 2007 11:53 pm

Ah... well, at least, thanks for taking care of that rumour.

-slym

x-omatic · Post by **x-omatic** » Sun Jan 07, 2007 1:38 am

siren3-4 · Post by **siren3-4** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 3:02 pm

“This is SCSolar again. I wanted to inform you that we are raising the reward to $75.00 for the return of Solar Penguin. As always there will be “No Questions Asked” and there will be no charges brought against anyone for penguin-napping or any other charge.”
“All I want is for Solar Penguin to be reunited with his friends.”

“We know he brings happiness to wherever he goes and whoever has him may be reluctant to release him. So we have pooled together and upped the reward to $75.00 and we will also pay whatever costs that are incurred in order to get him here safely.”

“We have enlisted even more help in trying to find our friend. As you probably saw last post Grifter has been helping from the beginning”

“I has been WILD trying to locate this poor penguin using all my training and connections. I was trying to stay low profile but it looks like the CATS out of the bag. Anyone else having any luck? ”

*BAMF*

“I’ve been all over the world looking for the penguin. I looks like we are going to have to depend on someone with a very big heart to come through for us.”

“I will help also and give it my maxximum effort . . . . I swear I’m not giving you the finger . . . those are spikes . . . nevermind . . . “

I know what it’s like to lose someone. With great penguins comes great . . . no . . that’s not what I mean . . uh . . I mean since I came out to the world . . “

“Spider-Man is Gay ?!?!?”

“A lot of heroes are gay . . .it’s not a big deal . . . It took a lot of courage to say that Spidey.”

“I am NOT Gay !! . . . . Not that there is anything wrong with that”

“Can we get back on topic here guys?”

“Rai Penguin is right !! We can’t bring Solar Penguin here with just sexy poses and humorous banter . . . . .what the hell is that !@!@!”

“Rhhaaaa . . . I can feel it in the PITT of my stomach, Timmy loves the Solar Penguin. I must find them both !!“

“Is that the Hulk, but without a nose ? “

“I’m bored here with out Solar Penguin. I need him.”

“He’s not underwater. We’ve looked everywhere. I don't know what else to do.”

“I was looking for him but I found this ring down here and, since then, I really haven’t thought about much else . .”

“My Precious ? ? ?”

“Enough of this. I don’t wanna’ have to use The Word on anyone but Right is Right. And if bringing that penguin home will make things right, I will bring down heaven and hell in the process.”

“Is that a threat Preacher Man ?“

I don’t mean no harm to anyone that don’t got it commin’. My friends and I are just trying to help. But we wont let TC near him. ”

“I just want to make sure that everyone knows that Solar Penguin will truly be loved here and he will never be lonely or stuck in a box somewhere. And his home will be a permanent one. Here is his picture again:”

“Please contact Mike through the magic of PM if there is anything you can do to help. Thank you for your time.”

David_Cody · Post by **David_Cody** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 6:31 pm

Good luck on your search for the missing Solar.

400yrs · Post by **400yrs** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 9:25 pm

Great post. I take it there have been no statue incidents involving your dog?

Rufusharley · Post by **Rufusharley** » Thu Jan 11, 2007 12:08 am

That was cool siren!

(wish i had one to sell ya)

Elveen · Post by **Elveen** » Thu Jan 11, 2007 1:04 am

do it again.... do it again!!!!!!

siren3-4 · Post by **siren3-4** » Tue May 01, 2007 12:05 pm

And now a word from our Celebrity NFL star, and arguably the greatest Quarterback of all time (according to the South Park kids) . . .John Elway !!!!

“Thank you . .thank you . . .”

“I would just like to take a minute out your busy schedules to talk about something important . . . .”

“There’s a good man sitting at home right now with a broken heart . . . and there is a penguin dressed up in a silly red outfit that can mend that heart . . . and I know there is someone out there that can help.”

“That’s right John. Hey there kiddies. I’m just kicking a few back here, smoking a fag and hangin’ with some underworld types, trying to get some information about the whereabouts of the Solar Penguin.”

“Not a bit of luck yet, but we won’t give up hope. We do have a very good lead to follow, so we are reaching out to you for help. There is no place we won’t look . . . so if you have any other leads please let us know !!”

“Crow . . . I am sick and tired of having to kill these idiots that claim to not know anything. Only you can stop the bloodshed . . . jesus, this sounds like a telethon . . .”

“My gun is starting to speak to me . . . . bad things happen when that happens.”

“You should only be punishing the Guilty !! This is a rescue mission !! You never leave a penguin behind . . .”

“umm… I still can’t carry a gun . . .”

“I’ve checked the sewers, talked with my rat friends, and eaten some human waste . . .wait . . .did I say that last part out loud . . ”

“um . . .that’s disgusting . . .I’m starting to lose hope . . .”

“Don’t be sad my small flippered friend . . . there are things that are meant to be . . .it is written . . “

“ . . .wait a min . . .who wrote ‘Destiny Smells Like Rotten Mummy Farts’ in my book !!! . . “

“HAHA HAHA HAHA . . . . take that mutie !!!”

“Enough of this !!! You people are making me nuts . . .”

“Please don’t forget, we need your help . . . .”

This message was brought to you by the MIDANASP corporation. (Mike is depressed and needs a solar penguin)

No statues or toys were harmed in the making of these skits. I really do think I might be insane. There will be more coming but the best ones will be after Solar penguin is reunited with his little buddies. Portions of the skit that do not affect the outcome have beed edited out. All statues featured in these are owned by me but I stole the Sentinel picture off another site. (I have the figures but not the beer) Sometimes I twist my buttocks around in my chair to scratch an itch in my anus. Any statue not on display at this time has been represented with a stunt photo. Do you realize that I had to go back and replace all the photos in the previous posts as I changed picture hosting sites so they wouldn’t appear as a red x. Whatever you do, don’t read the small print.